Couple Celebrates love amid Pride Month

Despite being together since 2001, it wasn’t until Jan. 6, 2015, that two Satsuma residents would become married in the eyes of the law.

Four days after receiving their marriage license, Judi, 72,  and Marla Kosmar-Woods, 62, wed at Ravine Gardens State Park in Palatka.

Marriage wasn’t something Judi initially thought about when they started dating in 2001 because she said she didn’t think same-sex marriage would ever become legal.

“We both had discussed it and said that if that ever… (became) where it was OK for us to do, it was finalized as a law, then we would definitely do it. And when that came to pass, it was like, ‘alright,’” Judi said Monday with a smile.

For her, marriage was about being equal, like any other couple.

The stay on U.S. District Judge Robert Hinkle’s ruling that the state’s ban on same-sex marriages was unconstitutional ended at the end of the business day on Monday, June 5, 2015, the Palatka Daily News reported. When the doors to the Putnam County courthouse opened the following day, Marla and Judi said they were the first same-sex couple to receive their marriage license in the county.

They said officials who worked at the courthouse in 2015 were supportive and made sure to be there that Tuesday morning waiting for them when the building doors opened.

“That was special,” Judi said.

Rev. Donna Cooney, a Pomona Park resident and pastor of St. Augustine’s United Church of Christ UCC-DOC, married the couple on Jan. 10 at the state park in Palatka. Cooney, who is straight, said she prefers to bless same-sex weddings rather than heterosexual weddings because she believes the divorce rates are higher in heterosexual couples than with same-sex couples.

“What I learned about the same-sex marriages (are) they have more to teach me than I have to teach them because most of the couples have already been together for years and years and years,” Cooney said.

Despite the cold weather on Jan. 10, 2015, Marla and Judi said they didn’t notice it as they got married under a gazebo at Ravine Gardens. It’s a place they still like to visit today to remember the moment.

“The vast majority of people at our wedding were straight couples and straight people but they were friends of ours who had known us for, well, pretty much since we’ve been together,” Marla said. “They were just excited that we were finally able to get married. I mean, there was not a dry eye in the house.”

Tears started when Marla walked down the aisle to “You’re Still The One” by Shania Twain, she said.

“That pretty much did everybody in – anybody that had known us very long,” Marla added.

Community support

It’s no secret that same-sex marriage, let alone same-sex couples, are still not accepted by everyone.

For Marla and Judi, however, they have found support in Putnam County. Both of their families have accepted and supported them on their wedding day, as well as their Satsuma neighbors.

When the couple first bought a house together, neighbors told them not to fly their pride flag but Judi eventually said, “That’s it,” and flew it outside their home.

All their neighbors now, she added, are supportive and one neighbor attended their wedding.

The original pride flag, designed in 1978, featured nine colors, according to the Human Rights Campaign.

“Hot pink represents sex, red symbolizes life, orange stands for healing, yellow equals sunlight, green stands for nature, turquoise symbolizes magic and art, indigo represents serenity, while violet symbolizes the spirit of LGBTQ+ people,” according to the organization.

The flag was created after Harvey Milk asked an artist, Gilbert Baker, to design a flag to symbolize gay rights, the organization reports. Milk was one of the first openly gay elected politicians, the Harvey Milk Foundation states, and was elected in 1977 to the San Francisco Board of Supervisors. He was assassinated on Nov. 27, 1978, according to the foundation, by a former city supervisor, who also killed the city’s mayor, George Moscone.

Following Milk’s death, the Human Rights Campaign states the pride flag was in high demand and due to manufacturing issues, the hot pink stripe was removed – creating the flag most popular today.

The first Pride march was held in New York City on June 28, 1970, on the one-year anniversary of the Stonewall Inn Uprising in Manhattan, according to the Library of Congress.

President Bill Clinton first recognized June as Gay and Lesbian Pride Month in 1999, though Gay Pride Day had been held on the last Sunday in June in previous years, the Library of Congress states.

Just seven years ago, on June 12, 2016, a gunman shot and killed 49 people and injured 53 at Orlando’s Pulse Nightclub – a well-known gay bar.

Locally, Putnam County’s LGBTQIA history is newer than other places.  Putnam County saw history made in 2020 with Palatka man Joshua Mast being the first openly gay man to run for a county commission seat. The city of Palatka first recognized June as Pride Month in 2021, and continued the recognition in 2022. County leaders have not yet officially recognized June as Pride Month.

Marla, Judi and Cooney said they don’t spend their time trying to convince people who may view same-sex relationships as wrong to believe otherwise. Judi said once she hits a “brick wall” with people, she focuses on being around more open-minded people.

Judi said she just wants to be herself every day. She said she has known she was a lesbian since she was younger and she wants to be free with it. Pride Month, for Marla, is about bringing issues surrounding the gay community to light.

Fighting for future generations

Judi and Marla hope to be a voice for the next generation, for young people who might be afraid to come out to their family and friends.

They said they are not afraid to speak out and advocate for people of the LGBTQIA community if it helps make the younger generation less scared. Judi said even if all they can do is speak out, that’s still a major step for Putnam County.

The couple hopes to find more people who are interested and willing to support young people struggling with their identity. There’s a small group of people on the south end of the county who have been discussing how to reach out to young people and help the ones who need a safe space to go.

While plans are only talks, Judi said people have been kicking around the idea of opening a Pride center in Putnam, which would be open to anyone. She said people could come, talk and have a place where they feel free to be themself.

Judi, a retired victim advocate for the Lee Conlee House, said she’s heard stories and counseled young people getting bullied in school because they are gay or transgender but they are afraid to say anything.

“Hearing some of their stories and things that they have gone through and experienced, it breaks your heart, it just breaks your heart, because they shouldn’t have to have … gone through this at such a young age,” Judi said.

The fear a child may face leads to some children self-harming, she said.

“I mean, I know what I felt like as an LGBTQ person,” Judi said. “So, what that had to do to a child who is already in fear … that could destroy them and (people) just don’t get it.”